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decisions, moving forward


I decided today that I’m going to move in with Drew.

We have a few logistical things to work out. Like where to put all the kids. This apartment is only 2 bedrooms. We have the dining room set up as an area for the kids, we have a couch in there, their TV and video games and their computer, in addition to the small dining room table. I’m thinking about moving our room into the living room, since the kids kind of have their own living room, in the dining room. We would leave the couches and TV in the living room, rearrange them so we could fit our bed and dressers in here too. There is a door in between the living room and kitchen, and although the front door is in the living room, there is a side door also that leads into the dining room, so we would use that most of the time and keep the front door locked and bolted. We would then put the boys in what is now our bedroom, and leave the girls in Reni’s room. We could put the dining table in the kitchen if we get rid of the microwave stand, which wouldn’t be a big deal, to make room for some bean bag chairs and bookcases or whatever. I would figure out a way to block the bed area in the living room off from the couch area, maybe hang some curtains or fabric from the ceiling or something. We’ll get rid of Drew’s computer desk, it’s in rough shape and is something that was left in this apartment when he moved in, anyway, and my computer desk is smaller and will fit in here better. There are 2 closets in the living room, also, so each of us could have our own space.

It will be a tight squeeze.

But I spend most of my time over here now, and it’s getting harder and harder to run back and forth every time I need clean clothes or to pick up the dog or whatnot. And it’s getting harder to keep with the messes in both houses, I just can’t keep up with 2 homes.

And I really think my mom has had enough of us 😦

So, the decision has been made.

It will be a relatively slow transition, I expect it to take no less than a month. Since we already have most of the furniture we need here, I’ll start by moving over clothes and toys, and once Mom’s house is mostly emptied of our ‘stuff’, we’ll rent a moving truck or recruit a few family members with pick-ups to move the bigger pieces.

I’ll leave the smallest bedroom at Mom’s set up with a set of bunk beds, some toys, and a couple outfits for each of the kids.

We’ll have a daybed with a trundle set up in another room as a guest room.

I would love to get a few new sets of bunkbeds for here at Drew’s, but that will have to wait till tax time.

We need some more cubby stands, like the ones we already have

ClosetMaid Cubeicals® Cubeicals 9 Cube Organizer Black Ash

and a bunch of fabric bins to use in them.

These things are perfect for clothes and toys, I would love to get 4 for the boys room, 4 for the girls room, and 4 for in the dining room.

Luckily, the closet here in the kids room is huge. It’s about 2 feet deep but it’s the entire length of the wall. Plenty of hanging space, and I don’t really use dressers very much. I hang all shirts. Pants and shorts go in bins in the bottom of the closet. Undies, socks, undershirts and tank tops, and PJ’s go in drawers, or, if I can some more cubby stand, they’ll go in the fabric bins. Pants and shorts could even be folded onto the shelves, would make it easier to see/find than being tossed into a bin in the bottom of the closet.

Anyway, I need to head to bed.

Cheers. To moving forward.


Time is still marching on.


Yesterday was the one year anniversary of Drew’s little boy Acen’s death. I did my best to keep Drew busy, and it worked as well as it could have. He has been out of it for a week now.

I keep promising him that it does get easier. The ‘wound’ will heal. There will always be a massive scar. But it will get easier. A little bit at a time.

I cried for most of the night, Friday night. I just couldn’t stop. My heart aches for a little boy that I never even met. I feel his absence in a very real way. Never have I grieved so much for someone I didn’t even know.

Life is just completely and totally unfair. And as much as I really do believe everything happens for a reason… I just can’t imagine a reason for what happened to Acen and his family. I cannot think of a reason a father should lose his son or a little girl should lose her brother.

But it happened. And I’m trying my best to help Drew through it while dealing with my own emotions.


The kids will all start school this week.

Rayce is going into second grade.

Charlize and Holden and Serenity into kindergarten.

Liliya into a 3 year old half day Head Start class.


I’m hoping  that having some regular kid-free time will make it easier to grow my photography business a little more. I would like to get to the point where I’m doing two photo sessions a week on a regular basis.

I had a session last weekend and a session this weekend and I have one scheduled for next weekend.

Word of mouth is a wonderful thing 🙂

My photos aren’t amazing, they aren’t ‘professional’, but they are good, I love taking them, I’m affordable for every budget, and my clients are happy 🙂

Check out my favorites/portfolio album on my facebook fan page.


I didn’t see the boys last weekend, and it felt extra good to tuck all of them into bed tonight.

Those boys are SUCH a handful.

They drive me nuts, just like the rest of them, but I miss them soooo much when they’re not here.

Holden’s big-lipped kisses and Dante’s ridiculously enthusiastic hugs.

Both of them always want the alphabet song for bedtime.

I love my stepsons, I wish they could be with me all the time.

crazy week


My sister had her babies Tuesday morning of this past week.

Water broke, emergency c-section, foot sticking out.

I had her kiddos Tuesday, Tuesday night, Wednesday.

My brother in law took the youngest two home Wednesday night and Jonny home Thursday night.

Friday I stayed with the kids at their house, the babies and Linda were supposed to be discharged.

The babies actually were discharged. But they checked vitals again once they finally got Linda’s discharge papers done, and their temps had gone down enough that they had to be re-admitted.

Lori went back into the NICU. Jamie stayed in the regular nursery. They had them both in isolettes, under warmers.

Jamie was discharged today, I had Lin’s kids again while she was at the hospital visiting Lori and picking Jamie up. Lori is in an open crib now, she has to hold her temp for 3 days before she can come home.

It’s been a crazy busy week.

I am exhausted in every way.

My house is *trashed*. It has been neglected for almost an entire week.

There are loads and loads of laundry that need to be done.

Floors need to be cleaned.

Bedrooms need to be picked up and vacuumed. Desperately.

Bedding needs to be washed.

Early to bed for us all, tonight!

Check out Lori and Jamie’s pics on my photography blog at

Enjoy : )

a mission


I want to get the entire house organized and deep cleaned by the time school starts again.

It’s going to be a serious mission.

But I can do it.

And it’ll make things easier for all of us.

Wish me luck! I’m gonna need it!

Summer is half over :o(


Summer is already half over. And I don’t feel like we’ve done much to show for it.

This last week or so, the kids have been passing around lots of weird germs.

Rayce had a fever and stomach bug for a day.

Charlize had a fever for 2 days and a severe case of the grumps for several days.

Liliya has been running fevers for the last 3 days, saying her throat hurts, and not eating much at all, even though I don’t see anything that looks bad in her throat.

Reni is on crazy amount of medication after her surgery. One nose spray, five squirts in each nostril, four times a day. Another nose spray, two squirts in each nostril, three times a day. Ointment applied to cotton swabs and put up into her nose three times a day. Antibiotic three times a day. Ear drops, two drops in each side, three times a day. Pain medication every three hours as needed for pain. It’s a LOT to keep track of.

I’m exhausted.

Today is my nephew’s fifth birthday party, tomorrow is his birthday, and my stepmom’s birthday.

I’ve got my stepsons tonight and tomorrow. I have missssssed them.

I want to take the kids all swimming tomorrow.

I’m almost looking forward to school starting again so we can fall back into a more regular and scheduled routine.